I don’t mean the fear of heights or jumping out of an airplane, but the fear of what life may bring. You might fear for the future, fear facing someone who you’ve been feuding with, fear being great or even maybe just fear living life to the fullest.
Fear could mean, to be unsure of the result of something. But as I got older everything scared me — like if I don’t succeed at my endeavors, if I fail at work ,if I fail at marriage etc. The truth is the older we get the percentage of fear grows in us. Take kids for example, they are fearless they will be fine doing all sorts of crazy things. How do you explain this?
What is fear?
According to Oxford Dictionary fear is «An unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm: A feeling of anxiety concerning the outcome of something or the safety of someone: The likelihood of something unwelcome happening: A mixed feeling of dread and reverence:” etc.
Whichever of the above definition may apply to you, we need to stop allowing fear to paralyze us, because the truth is that fear (like anger) is just an emotion that comes and goes. Fear is what truthfully holds us back from being the greatest person that we can be. I strongly believe fear also comes from not living in the moment, but from living in the past and/or the future.
Fear is one of the hardest and most painful emotions to overcome. In our logical minds we realize that eventually things work out for the best, yet we fear every minute of every day. We are afraid of failing or being successful, we fear the known and the unknown and we also fear pain and loss.
Some indicators of fear.
- We find ourselves striving in vain to achieve perfection.
When you’re afraid (of criticism, failure, and rejection), you’ll kill yourself trying to be perfect. This is an aspect I am so familiar with. When we are preoccupied trying to make sure everyone and everything is moving smoothly at the detriment of our own peace. But, the mask of perfection also separates us from what we most want—real intimacy, to be known, loved, and accepted for our true self.
- We settle.
When we’re afraid to take risks, defy convention, and go for what we really want, we convince ourselves that our less than juicy life—our relationships, our jobs,—are as good as it gets. When fear is running the show, we forget how to dream. We compromise in the name of being “realistic.” But settling isn’t realism; it’s a symptom of the fear that what we hope is possible really isn’t. When we make the brave move to get to the other side of these fears, hope returns
- We say yes when we mean no.
When we’re afraid to disappoint people or get rejected if we don’t say yes, we will fall into fear-based, people pleasing, self-sacrificing behaviors that lead to resentment. But when fear is no longer the driving force, we will say no when it feels self-loving. As they say, “No” is a complete sentence. This doesn’t mean you won’t devote yourself to generosity and service. It means the service stems from a genuine love-based, rather than a fear-based motivation.
- We say no when we mean yes.
When we’re afraid, we’re unlikely to take risks. We’ll feel the yearning to start our own business, go after our dream job, take that course, have a baby, or get married. But we’ll say no because we’re afraid to fail, afraid to succeed, afraid to get rejected, afraid to stir things up, afraid to get out of our comfort zone. When we let love cure us, we’ll start letting our spirits take the lead, taking leaps of faith and saying yes when we yearn to.
- We numb ourselves with alcohol, drugs, sex, television, or excessive busyness.
Fear causes inner pain, a kind of soul sickness that shows up as depression, anxiety, restlessness, helplessness, hopelessness, frustration, sadness, loneliness, and fatigue. Oh I know so well how this feels and in order to avoid this inner pain, we tend to engage in addictions and other numbing behaviors. But of course, this only puts a very temporary Band-Aid on the pain, while increasing feelings of low self-esteem that just increase the inner pain. When we’re not afraid to be quiet with ourselves, to face our inner demons, to heal that which longs to be healed from the core, we’ll no longer need alcohol, cigarettes, overeating, workaholism, pain killers, or other numbing distractions. We’ll have the courage to do the deep transformative work that leads us to freedom.
- We procrastinate.
When we’re afraid of putting ourselves in the arena because of fear of failure, success, uncertainty, judgment, criticism, or rejection, we’ll tend to stand on the sidelines where we feel safer. When we face fear head on, motivation replaces procrastination. You’re not “going for it” based on a fear-based need to “make it happen.” Instead, the natural inclination towards love and service generates inspired action that leaps you forward towards that which wants to be born through you.
- We get paralyzed.
When we are afraid, we avoid making the decisions our souls know we must make. Our intuition tells us it’s time to leave that toxic relationship. Or quit that soul-sucking job. Or set boundaries. Or go to rehab. Or speak up. But we’re terrified of the uncertainty that lies on the other side. If we make a decision, we’ll be thrust out of our comfort zone and into the vast unknown. But what we will discover on the other side of fear is that uncertainty is the gateway to possibility. When we don’t know what the future holds, anything could happen.
- We become control freaks.
When we are afraid, we feel the need to micromanage everything. We mistakenly think we live in a hostile, random universe that’s out to get us unless we grab the wheel with both hands and steer our lives towards what we want and away from what we don’t want. We don’t trust that it’s a purposeful universe, and our lives were designed with a purpose and a pattern by which it should be operated. When we make the journey from fear to faith, we trust that it’s a friendly universe. Then we can relax. Surrender to the flow of the life within, accept what is, let go of the handle, and enjoy the exciting ride. That’s when life gets really fun. Letting go is the frequency of miraculous!
- We keep Quiet.
When fear is operating us, we avoid speaking up. We won’t stand up for what we believe. We won’t let our voices be heard when our integrity is being threatened. We won’t tell people when they hurt our feelings. We’ll be too afraid to ask for what we really want. But when we let love lead, we start respecting and appreciating the divine voice that flows through us, giving it a voice and inviting it to be heard. And when we’re brave enough to speak our truth, we attract those who resonate with it.
- We get sick.
Fear isn’t just an uncomfortable emotion that hold us back from following our dreams, connecting soul-to-soul with our true tribe, and serving out our life’s purpose. It also triggers stress responses in the body that put us at risk of disease and make it hard for the body to heal itself. Fearful people are more likely to get heart attacks, cancer, diabetes, autoimmune diseases, inflammatory disorders, chronic pain, and even the common cold. They’re also more likely to experience milder symptoms, such as insomnia, low energy, obesity, dizziness, headaches, backaches, decreased libido, and gastrointestinal distress.
This is not meant to frighten us. Like me, it’s meant to wake us up, give us hope, and inspire us to embark upon the journey of transformation from fear to freedom.
There is no better way to combat fear than to know the why and how of your existence. A deep understanding of the purpose of your existence and the mission you have been entrusted, will lead to a state of rest. Like every ambassador sent overseas as a representation of its interest and relations is fully provided for and sustained by the Nation, we all are on a mission on earth and the one who sent us, already had a purpose for sending us, what makes it more exciting is that He already marked out the path for us and He has fully provided for us to walk in victory.
What we require is knowledge of His will and plan and then unconditional trust in Him! Perfect love casts out all fear!